LOOKING FOR A GOOD AGED CARE FACILITY? READ THIS FIRST.

SeniorsAloud regularly receives emails and whatsapp messages enquiring about nursing homes for a loved one. First, let me say that we do not operate a nursing home. Second, we are not working with any aged care facility or retirement home operator.

Most of the enquiries we receive lack details, so we can't advise even if we would like to help. Here's a typical one:

"Hi, I am looking for a suitable nursing home for my elderly aunty. Can you please recommend a good one? Thank you."

Not much detailed info for us to work on, is there?

We always recommend doing an online search first, and narrowing down the list to a handful of addresses based on location, fees and facilities. Next is to follow up with a visit to each of the homes. Never rely on website info alone to make a choice. Glossy images may belie actual reality. They are part of marketing strategy to attract and appeal to potential clients.

Here's a checklist of what to look for on your first visit to the home. Be sure to ask the right questions.

1. Is the home licensed? This serves as a good guide as certain conditions need to be fulfilled before a license can be issued. Operators of aged care facilities in Petaling Jaya, for example, should have two licenses - a business license issued by MBPJ and the other by Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat (JKM). Ask whether there is a proper admission procedure. Is there a board of trustees or at the very least a management committee to oversee the running of the home? Homes that are run by one or two individuals with little relevant experience or qualifications are likely to be unlicensed. There must be checks and balances to ensure proper and efficient supervision and management of the home.

A simple, uncluttered room that is clean, airy and well-lit. Would be better to have bed rails to prevent the elderly from falling off the bed. The bedside rug should be non-slip and the edges weighted down to prevent tripping.

A morning exercise session for the elderly residents.

2. Are the nurses and other staff trained? Remember, you will be leaving your loved one in their care 24/7. Do they treat the residents with respect and kindness? Do the staff include medical/health professionals e.g. doctor, physiotherapist? Do the staff look overworked or unfriendly? Are they mostly foreigners or locals? Are they able to communicate with the elderly to understand their needs? What are the provisions for emergencies e.g. falls, stroke, or worse, cardiac arrest? Do the staff keep you informed about your loved one when you are away? What is the staff/resident ratio? A rough guide would be:

• For semi-mobile residents who require some assistance with daily activities. Ratio is 1:8.
• For wheelchair bound or bedridden residents who may have mental sickness. Ratio is 1:4.
• For fully dependent residents who have mental or behavourial problems and are unable to cope with daily living on their own. Ratio is 1:2.

A nursing home with a garden scores a plus point. Residents can enjoy the outdoor sunlight and fresh air, or engage in some exercise, or in gardening.

3. What is your first impression of the facility? Clean? Odourless? Well-ventilated and well-lit? Elder-friendly furniture and fixtures? Quiet surroundings? Safe and comfortable environment? Any greenery? If it's a double-storey building, look for a fire escape outside. If the home looks uninviting from the outside, there really is no point in ringing the doorbell. It will be a total waste of your time.

Daily activities and planned meals at a home for the elderly.

4. Are there planned meals and activities? Is the menu changed daily? Are the residents left to themselves to watch TV most of the time? Does the home arrange for outings or for volunteer groups to visit regularly and entertain the residents? Do the elderly residents look neglected?

Karaoke session; Bingo. Some homes conduct handicraft and art therapy.

5. Ask about the fees. Is a deposit required? Are receipts issued for payments?  Be prepared to pay more if you expect a certain level of care and facilities. The range can be as low as RM2000 a month to as high as RM5000 or more, depending on the type of care required, single room or dorm, and services provided. What do the fees cover besides meals? Laundry? Diapers? Medication? Personal toiletries? Hair cuts? Personal grooming? Daily checks for blood pressure, etc? 

To meet the needs of a growing elderly population, operating an aged care facility, whether it is a nursing home or a daycare centre, has become a thriving business. Private nursing homes are a common sight in residential neighbourhoods. Most are housed in converted bungalows rather than in purpose-built facilities. Nearly all have attractive websites promising appealing surroundings and tender loving care. Don't be taken in by the hype.

Ask around for recommendations from friends who have a family member in a nursing home. Let your fingers do some research online to back up a recommendation. Then contact the home to arrange for a visit. If they say you are welcome to drop by anytime, it is a good sign that they are prepared to be 'inspected' at your convenience, and not theirs. Remember to ask the right questions during the visit, and make a mental note of everything you see, both good and not so good. 

This was one of the best aged care facilities I have visited. Pity it had to close due to the location - too far for families to visit daily.

I hope this article gives you an idea of what to look for in a good home for an elderly. You will be surprised how many homes you will strike out from your list before you finally find one that could be the answer to your prayers.

(Note: Images of homes featured in this post are the property of SeniorsAloud. Permission is required to use the images.)

FOR SINGLES ON VALENTINE'S DAY

It's Valentine's Day - again. While couples young and old celebrate the day exchanging gifts and Valentine cards, my thoughts, as always, are with those who will not be sitting down to a romantic candlelight dinner. Reason: they are single. To them, I say, "Happy Single Awareness Day!" I am one of you too. No need to dread this day. Indeed, our numbers are increasing. Today being single for an older woman is no longer a social stigma. If truth be told, women in unhappy marriages envy their single sisters but they do not have the courage to break free. To the happily married ones, a toast to you on this Valentine's Day.

Unless you are married to someone wonderful, it's better to remain single. I am not putting down the institution of marriage. But I seem to be hearing more couples getting divorced than getting married, especially among older couples. Once the children are grown and flown, a couple's marriage is put to the test. Retired couples, in particular, find that being in each other's company 24/7 can either rekindle the old flame of romance and passion, or it can extinguish forever the last sparks of a dying marriage.

Which one are you? There's a third one - being single and NOT available. 

It takes a lot of effort, compromise even sacrifice to keep a relationship going. Many young couples don't have the patience to work at it. Gone are the days when wedding vows were taken seriously and couples remained married 'till death do us part'. Even after death, the bereaved spouse stayed faithful to the memory of the dearly beloved. Second marriages were almost unheard of, as were divorces. Indeed, to ask for a divorce would be akin to asking to be ostracized.

Today on Valentine's Day, I dedicate the day to my parents. I remember them as a very loving couple. As a child, I used to listen with fascination to the love stories my mother told me about how my father wooed her. Their courtship days were like chapters taken from a Barbara Cartland novel. My father simply adored my mother, and spending time with her was something he treasured as we saw him only during the weekends. His work as a medical sales representative often took him outstation and away from the family.

My father treated my mother like she was a fragile porcelain doll. He was always eager to please her and make her happy. My mother bore him six children during their 10 years together. I was the eldest. My youngest sister never got to see my dad for he passed away in 1957 after a short period of illness. My mom was heavily pregnant with her sixth child when my dad left her - forever.

My parents - Annie Goh Kwee Foung and Jackie Fu Fook Im (1947)

My mother will be 94 this October. She has never remarried, and has remained a widow all these past 62 years. I am sure she still misses my father, that is, on days when she can remember, when her mind is clear, and her memory is sharp. For my mom has Alzheimer's. The other day when I showed her this picture of my dad and her, I asked if she knew who the couple was. Without any hesitation, she said 'That's me and that's your father. But he's gone now. He was very good to me.'

Whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed, today is the day we celebrate LOVE. We should be celebrating love every day, in the little things we do, for the people we love. Love doesn't have to cost a cent. Love can be a genuine smile, a warm hug or an affectionate kiss. Or a good deed for someone we don't know but who needs our help.

Spread a little love today, and every day.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYONE!

(This post is updated from an earlier one posted on Valentine's Day 2014.)

A GREAT START TO A NEW YEAR

Woke up on New Year's Day to find this whatsapp message on my phone: Congratulations, you are in The Star today. A quick flipping of pages led me to the article, reprinted below for easy reading. A great start for 2019, if I may say so.

Pioneer batch of MSc Applied Gerontology graduates August 2018. (photo: Wee Teck Hian)

Never let age stop you from pursuing your dreams. This was the advice Lily Fu, 70, gave her course mates in her valedictorian speech when she graduated with a Masters of Science in Applied Gerontology from Nanyang Technological University, Singapore, in 2018.

Fu truly embodies that philosophy. She was the oldest in her class, but the self-professed “lifelong learner” didn’t let that or “the limitations of the ageing body and brain” get in the way of pursuing her ambition.

“I often say, you must have passion to achieve your dreams. Passion is a magnet. It will attract the right people and opportunities to allow you to achieve your dreams,” says Fu, who received her scroll in August 2018.

It was her zeal that led her to enrol in the Masters programme, even though the retired teacher couldn’t afford the costs. She says, “Going back to school was something I’d wanted to do for a while.”

“I’d enrolled in all sorts of courses related to ageing at the University of the Third Age (under Universiti Putra Malaysia’s Institute of Gerontology now renamed MyAgeing). Then in 2010, Prof (Dr Tengku) Aizan (Hamid), the director of the Institute of Gerontology, encouraged me to pursue my Masters, but the timing never seemed right.

“I heard about a Masters of Science in Applied Gerontology programme at the Singapore Institute of Management (now Singapore University of Social Sciences), but the logistics and fees posed a huge obstacle. Every scholarship I looked up had an upper age limit and mine was above that ceiling.

“Then in 2016, my daughter who resides in Singapore told me about this new course at NTU. I attended a preview and liked what I saw, but the fees were too high – tuition alone would cost me S$34,000 (RM104,000).

“But seeing how passionate I was, my daughter and son-in-law offered to pay for me, so I grabbed the offer. I hope this becomes a trend, where retirees can pursue their passion, funded by their adult children,” says the mum of two and grandma of five.

Being a full-time student at 70 wasn’t easy, Fu admits. She had to get used to new modes of learning and keep up with course mates who were much younger. But her can-do spirit and determination to not let age stop her pushed her to graduate – and also be class valedictorian. “It wasn’t so bad because my class was diverse in every way,” she says.

“Also in Singapore, there’s a huge focus on respect for the elderly. On trains, people give up their seats. On the road, they give way to pedestrians. Bus drivers help the elderly and those on wheelchairs to get on and off. I learnt a lot about what we can do for our elderly in Malaysia and I have come back with lots to share.”

The Masters programme covered many aspects of ageing including policy, advocacy, physiology of the ageing person, mental health, gerontechnology (assistive devices and technology that can help the elderly) and thanatology, the scientific study of dying.

“I never thought I’d be in a Masters of Science programme, but it was an interdisciplinary programme that was rich with the top people from the hospitals lecturing us. With my Masters’ credentials, people actually listen when I give talks, even though a lot of what I say is the same as before,” she says laughing.

Me and my coursemates Meera and Minyi. (photo: Foong Ming)

Building A Community
Advocating for the elderly is something the Batu Pahat, Johor, native has been busy with for the last decade. In 2008, Fu started SeniorsAloud, a blog to raise the issues facing the elderly in Malaysia.

It’s a platform for seniors to network and share their stories. Though it started as an online portal, the blog has grown into a community of seniors who meet regularly for activities and workshops. The idea, Fu says, is to enable and help them empower each other to lead active, healthy lives.

“When I started SeniorsAloud, there weren’t many (initiatives) for the elderly. I had become a senior myself, and because I use public transport, I noticed the many issues the elderly face in this country.

“I’ve been taking public transport for years and I realise how unfriendly it is for seniors. Our bus stops don’t have any information about the buses and their routes. If there is a notice, the words are so small – how are the elderly going to read them?

“Another issue is the lack of wheelchair access. Even in KLCC, a premier mall, there’s very little disability access. A lot of doors are closed for seniors, a lot of needs are not met, and I want to give us a voice,” says Fu.

To create awareness, she began writing articles (now over 1,000) which she hopes will get the attention of policymakers who could initiate positive changes. She says, “Going online was the best solution because it was free and I could reach more people.”

“I had to learn how to set up a blog, take photos, write stories and design flyers on my own. I also went for a course on citizen journalism to help me write news stories,” says Fu, a retired teacher who taught at Kuen Cheng Girls School for over 30 years.

Recruiting members for her online community was tough, she confesses. Though there were no membership fees, many retirees were put off by the name of her portal.

“People don’t want to be labelled ‘seniors’, though they enjoy senior discounts. We need to project a positive image of the elderly and this starts with seniors ourselves. If we keep saying we’re too old to do things, how do we expect people to see us? We must change,” she says with conviction.

Before long, SeniorsAloud drew the attention of organisations and companies who invited the elderly to participate in programmes. Fu was invited to speak on ageing matters, but she realised that for people to take her seriously, she needed the “right credentials” which is why she pursued her degree.

SeniorsAloud has about 500 registered members and another 500 who regularly visit Fu’s blog and social media page. Among the ongoing education and awareness programmes organised for the SeniorsAloud community are workshops to help seniors go online.

“There will come a time when we seniors will be mostly home-bound. But if we know how to use technology, we can remain connected to friends and the world. We can network with our friends and family even though we may not be able to go out,” says Fu. “Another is to be aware of online scams that target the elderly.”

With the knowledge and insights she’s gained from her time in Singapore and a change of government in Malaysia, Fu hopes to contribute to improving the lot of seniors in Malaysia.

“The new measures and incentives announced in the Budget 2019 are encouraging and we will have to see how these get implemented,” Fu says. “I’m ever willing to share my input and to be a part of bringing change for our seniors.”

For the transcript of my valedictorian speech and more photos, go to https://www.seniorsaloud.com/2018/08/my-class-valedictorian-speech.html

2018 IN REVIEW

2018 IN REVIEW

What a year it was! May 9, 2018 ushered in a new era for the country. For the first time since independence in 1957, the opposition won the general elections and formed the new government. In the weeks prior to GE14, many of us attended ceramahs, fund-raising dinners and took part in rallies. Some of our members also volunteered as Polling Agents. It was well worth the effort when Pakatan Harapan won. Only time will tell if the new government can deliver on its promises. 

SeniorsAloud events 2018

For SeniorsAloud, 2018 marked our 10th anniversary. We celebrated with a fund-raising dinner on 12 October at Royal Lake Club and also published a 32-page booklet to commemorate a decade of community service and events. For me personally, as founder of SeniorsAloud community, August 2018 marked my graduation with a Master of Science in Applied Gerontology from Nanyang Technological University (NTU), Singapore. I was so relieved and happy to say goodbye to research studies, assignments and deadlines!

Other event organisers that SeniorsAloud collaborated with or helped promote in 2018

We also promoted and participated in events organised by universities

The above three events (GE14, 10th anniversary dinner, my gerontology course in Sg) kept us very busy. We had to cut down on organising events. To make up for this, we collaborated with other event organisers including universities, and helped to promote their events. This ensured there were activities every month for our members. 

SeniorsAloud in the news

It's always nice to see SeniorsAloud mentioned in talks or in the media, so Thank You, Petrosains, The Star and Hire.Seniors.

Haven't joined SeniorsAloud yet? Do so and be part of our growing community. 

Do subscribe to our monthly newsletter or follow SeniorsAloud's facebook page for regular updates on what's happening on the seniors scene.

LOOKING AHEAD TO 2019

While active healthy ageing remains at the core of our community efforts, for next year we will be focusing more on productive ageing. We plan to organise skills & knowledge-based workshops that will help seniors get (re)employed or start their own business. To get our plans off the ground, we are looking for the following:

• a centrally-located venue in KL/PJ for our events preferably within walking distance to an LRT/MRT station
• a reliable travel agency that conducts local tours (we have a couple of trips and visits on the cards)
• experienced and qualified instructors for IT and social media courses

Preference will be given to members of SeniorsAloud community who can provide any of the above or know someone who can. Please email us at seniorsaloud@gmail.com, or contact Lily at 012-3068291.

SERIOUSLY, LUNCH NEAR KLCC FOR ONLY RM5?!!

Seven years ago, I had one of the best Chinese vegetarian meals ever in terms of value: good taste, low prices and rich variety. I had blogged about it then as one of the staff volunteers there asked me to help publicize the food court. Today the blog article popped up among my Facebook Memories. A good reminder that I should post an update for those who have yet to drop by for a meal. This place has been around for decades. Yet many of my friends have not heard of it.

A vegetarian's food paradise! I gave up counting the number of dishes after 40. Strictly no meat, eggs, garlic or onion.

A feast for the eyes and stomach, but only if you are a vegetarian. The longest queue is for the mixed dishes with rice.

All this for only RM8 in 2011 when this photo was taken. Prices have gone up but still low compared to other food outlets in the area. 

The daily menu at a glance. The temple marks festival days on the Chinese calendar with free meals but donations are welcome.

Best time to be there - before 11.30am. You avoid the lunch time crowd and the long queues at the cashiers.

The scene at 12pm. Difficult to find a seat unless you are alone. Besides locals, expats and backpackers eat here too. Diners have to clear their own plates after eating. The staff here are all volunteers.

All the vegetables and fruits are organically grown on the temple's farm.

Once you enter the temple premises, it's a short pleasant walk past a rock garden with a lotus pond and mini-waterfalls to the food centre at the end of the corridor.

From the outside: This ornate temple, opposite Corus Hotel and a stone's throw from KLCC, hides a bustling food court waiting to be discovered by those in search of a satisfying vegetarian meal.

Besides rice dishes, there are stalls selling noodles, salad, fruits, buns and drinks. When in season there are durians for sale. Everything comes from the temple's organic farm. I have lunch there whenever I am in the vicinity (which is often!) and tapau (take away) for dinner. The two meals usually cost less than Rm10. If I am early enough, I get free soup and fruit dessert. Parking is a problem. You can take the lrt to KLCC and walk there, or take any bus that goes to KLCC. Get off at Corus Hotel and walk across the overhead bridge. 

So now you know where to go for your next organic vegetarian meal, do spread the word. 

THE NEED TO KEEP RAISING THE RETIREMENT AGE

PM Tun Mahathir, 93, has jokingly said the new retirement age in Malaysia will be 95 in 2020 when he hands over his premiership to Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. He may have said it in jest but at the rate our demographics are changing, Malaysia will reach ageing nation status by 2030, and we will see more people working well into their 70s.

When the Employees Provident Fund (EPF) was established in 1951, life expectancy then, believe it or not, was 55! With the retirement age set at 55, lump sum EPF withdrawals would be more than sufficient to sustain contributors through the short retirement period. We now know those figures were way off the mark. Advances in science, medicine and technology have drastically extended life span. Life expectancy in Malaysia currently stands at 75, and is set to rise further in the years ahead. 60 is the new 40, and living to a ripe old age of 80 and beyond is fast becoming the norm.

This begs the question - do we have enough in our EPF savings to see us through an additional 15 to 20 years? For the majority the answer is No. The M40 (middle income group) is arguably the worst off as they are not eligible for welfare aid unlike the B40 (lower income group). They also have more financial commitments such as these below:

• loans to service (housing loan, car loan)
• their children's higher education 
• their healthcare expenses
• support for their elderly parents

Do check out what these senior citizens from M40 have to say about their financial status, and what we can learn from them at this link. Their profiles are typical of most retirees.

Upon reaching 55, most retirees would opt for lump sum withdrawals. They have worked hard and waited patiently for the day when they would have the means to turn their dreams and plans into reality, whether it is to pay off debts, renovate the house, take a well-deserved holiday abroad or start a business. Unfortunately, going by EPF data, most end up depleting their retirement savings within a few years mainly through mismanagement of their money.

How much should the average retiree have in order to avoid getting into debt? EPF puts it at RM228,000. More than half of their members have way less than this amount (see infographic below). EPF has come up with some good advice on how to live a simple and sensible life in retirement to stretch savings. If a retiree finds himself unable to cope financially, he should pay a visit to AKPK (Agensi Kaunseling dan Pengurusan Kredit) for some free advice on how to manage his limited financial resources. Or refer to AKPK's special presentation for SeniorsAloud members at this link.

Read the full article at this link.

To reduce the risk of retired contributors using up all their EPF savings within a few years, EPF introduced several withdrawal packages (see below). There is also the option of leaving the entire sum with EPF until age 100 and still enjoy dividends. At dividend rates of 6% and above since 2011, it makes sense for retirees to let their savings remain for as long as possible with EPF. The dividend for 2017 was 6.9%.

Read the full article at this link.

Many of my friends who were teaching in public schools back in the 1980s opted for early retirement when they reached their 40s. As long as they had served a minimum of 10 years, they were eligible for a gratuity and pension benefits as stipulated under Section 12A Act 227/239. Today early retirement at 40+ would be unthinkable for most people. Given the rising cost of living and a host of financial commitments, few can afford to enjoy full retirement. The mantra is work, work, work for as long as possible.

Acknowledging the plight of retirees and those nearing retirement age, the Pakatan Harapan government has sought to increase job opportunities by proposing tax incentives for employers hiring older Malaysians. It's a long shot from proposal to implementation. Whether this will make a significant difference remains to be seen.

Source: Budget 2019

One thing is for certain - we can expect the retirement age to continue going up. In developed countries such as Germany and Japan, the retirement age is moving towards 70. Former PM of Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew, famously said that 'retirement means death', and was in favour of doing away with the retirement age.

As the country's biggest employer, the government finds it a challenge to fund pension payouts to a growing pool of retired civil servants and beneficiaries that is expected to reach 836,000 in 2019 and would cost KWAP (Kumpulan Wang Persaraan) a whopping RM26.56 billion. This is one of the main reasons for raising the retirement age - to enable both retirees and pensioners to work longer and accumulate sufficient savings to be self-supporting in old age.

Read the full article at this link.

Older Malaysians too want to work for as long as they are able. The family structure has changed so drastically that parents can no longer expect their adult children to support them in their old age. Family size has shrunk, and with the grown children moving out to work or settle elsewhere, retired couples are often left to fend for themselves.

The falling fertility rate at 1.9 is the lowest on record and below the replacement rate of 2.1. This means a shrinking of the young work force. This shortage of young workers will have to be met by an increase in technology, in the recruitment of foreign workers and in opening jobs to people in the 60 to 65 age group.

So, whichever way we look at the situation, there is definitely a need for older workers to return to the work force, and for the retirement age to be raised. The likelihood of doing away with a retirement age will gain traction in the years ahead. Let's just hope it won't reach a situation where we have to work till we drop dead!

CELEBRATING SENIORSALOUD'S 10TH ANNIVERSARY 2018

Proceeds go towards our Grant a Wish for the Elderly (GWE) community service initiatives.

Videos of our 10th anniversary dinner:

Our 32-page 10th anniversary commemorative booklet (front and back covers)

A collector's item - limited copies of our commemorative bookmark (front and back)