OLD, LONELY AND FORGOTTEN

Last Wednesday (10 July), I was a guest on Capital fm88.9 Morning Show. I had been invited to give my views on recent headline news about adult children abandoning their elderly parents. This interest was prompted by the new “Elderly Rights Law” introduced in China last month to deal with the growing problem of lonely elderly people who are neglected by their adult children. With the enforcement of the law, it is now mandatory for adult children to visit their elderly parents.

A similar law, the Maintenance of Parents Act, exists in countries like Singapore, India and the Philippines. In Singapore, for example, parents may seek legal assistance from the Tribunal for Maintenance of Parents to compel their adult children to provide financial support.

A law requiring children to visit their elderly parents is difficult to enforce. How many visits are children required to make? Who would regulate these visits? What if the children have settled overseas? There is also the question of 'quality' of visits over quantity. Would parents be happy to receive visits from children who are there only because it is an offence, a crime not to do so? Such visits would certainly lack warmth and real bonding.

Source: The Star July 6

The traditional family structure has changed. Adult children move out of the family home as soon as they are financially independent, leaving their parents to age on their own or in a retirement home. With more young people working in other cities or countries, it has become a norm for them to see their parents only during festive occasions. Burdened with multiple loans to pay off and with the high cost of living, young families are already struggling to take care of their little ones, let alone their elderly parents.

Abandoned old folks waiting out their final years. Where are their family members?

While we can understand why some adult children fail to visit their parents regularly or do not provide adequate financial support for them, we cannot condone the act of abandoning their parents. That is absolutely despicable and unforgivable. For many elderly parents, often all they want is just to be remembered with an occasional visit or phone call. Is that too much to ask? Is it any wonder that depression and thoughts of suicide is on the rise among senior citizens living in the cities.

Source: Department of Statistics, Singapore

Worldwide, a rise in the ageing population and a decline in fertility means fewer working people to support an ever growing number of elderly people. In Singapore, the number of elderly citizens will triple to 900,000 by 2030. Malaysia will become an aging nation by 2030 when the population above 60 years is expected to reach 15 per cent or 4.9 million. In China, there were more than 178 million people aged 60 years or older in 2010. By 2030, that figure will double.

With 2030 only 16 years away, financial support and care of elderly parents will continue to be a huge challenge for adult children and for the government.

My advice? Take care of yourself, your health, your money. Save enough for your sunset years. Adopt an active lifestyle so that hefty medical expenses don't swallow up your savings. Don't expect your children to take care of you in your old age. They may not be able to, even if they want to. Filial piety is dying, no thanks to the harsh realities of living in a rapidly changing world that has no place for the elderly.

HOW TO STRETCH YOUR RINGGIT

Civil servants here made headline news recently when it was reported that as many as 80 per cent of personal loans from NBFIs, goes to government employees with household incomes of less than RM3,000 a month. NBFIs, or non-bank financial institutions, include among others, Bank Rakyat Sdn Bhd, Malaysia Building Society Bhd (MBSB), and development financial institutions (DFIs) such as Agrobank, SME Bank and Lembaga Tabung Haji.

These NBFIs are not supervised by the central bank. Easy loans plus job security lures many government employees into taking huge loans to pay for lavish weddings, imported cars, up scale housing, overseas vacations, and expensive gadgets like high end smart phones and audio-visual equipment, all of which they can ill afford.

Weddings as lavish as this can set one back hundreds of thousands of ringgit

Says one civil servant: “I have a pension and insurance. If you work in the government, it’s easy to get a loan. Just make sure that the loan does not exceed 60 per cent of your salary every month."

For civil servants, their jobs and pensions are guaranteed, even during a recession. This explains why NBFIs are ready to offer them easy access to personal loans. Those working in the private sector would never be able to secure hefty personal loans of RM100K to RM200K if their monthly take home pay is below M3000.

Whether we are working in the public or private sector, we don't want to be buried in debt, to see almost our entire monthly salary going towards servicing our loans or credit card debts. It's crazy to take out a RM120,000 personal loan from a bank to renovate and furnish your house when your salary is RM2,500 a month.

Source: The Star 10 July

Fortunately for us older folks, by virtue of our age and the experience gained from having lived through lean times, we are frugal in our spending habits and adverse to taking financial risks. We don't hanker for the latest products or the best service that often comes at high price. For many of us, a cup of coffee at the local kopitiam is value for money at RM1.80 compared to a RM10.50 cup of caffe latte at Starbucks. And tastes better too! We can get a MyVi for less than RM45K, and it will take us from A to B or C. So will a Toyota Vios but at more than double the price tag!

It is a good thing that as we age, we care less about appearance, and more about substance. Of course, if we can afford it and money is not a concern, we have the luxury to spend as we like, and enjoy the fruits of our hard labour.

With Hari Raya coming up, food is one of the biggest items of expenditure. Here are some useful tips on how to stretch the ringgit, courtesy of FOMCA (Federation of Malaysian Consumers Association).

Source: New Sunday Times 14 July

If you have a problem curbing your spending urges, it is best to opt for a debit card than a credit card. I used to gripe about banks discriminating against retirees who apply for credit cards. On reflecting, perhaps it's for their own good that retirees stick to one credit card and forget about applying for more.



THE AMAZING SUPER SENIORS

Yuichiro Miura, 80

Seniors are certainly pushing the boundaries in all areas. We have Yuichiro Miura, 80, the oldest man to climb Mount Everest, Fajar Singh, 102, the oldest man to run a marathon, and Dilys Price, 81, the world's oldest woman skydiver.

There's also Johanna Quaas, 86. The Guinness Book of World Records named her the world's oldest gymnast. Her display of strength and agility on the parallel bars is simply jaw-dropping.

Dilys Price, 81

The current crop of octogenarians and nonagenarians are re-defining the meaning of "old". They have changed forever our perception of the elderly. The traditional image of grandma sitting in the rocking chair by the fireside has long disappeared together with knitting socks. Dancers, models, yoga instructors, chefs, divers, surgeons, body builders - the sky, not age, is the limit to what the 'elderly' can do these days. We need new labels for these active senior citizens who simply refuse to age.

Ernestine Shepherd, 76, oldest woman body builder

Fajar Singh, 102, the undisputed oldest runner ever

As for youthfulness, who can beat the evergreen Grammy award-winning Tony Bennett? At 86, he has retained his good looks and is still making waves on the music scene, collaborating with much younger artistes like Lady Gaga, 27. By the way, he will be in Kuala Lumpur for a concert at the KL Convention Centre on September 9. 

The oldest actress is Betty White, 91. She recently made a comeback in the comedy series "Hot in Cleveland" now showing on Astro Channel 702. The world's oldest fashion model is Carmen Dell’Orefice, 82. She has been a model for nearly 70 years, and shows no signs of slowing down.

Carmen Dell’Orefice, 82, supermodel. 
Click here for more photos.

The new elderly are not only capable of amazing physical feats, but also of mental agility and sharpness. An excellent example is Israel's prime minister, Shimon Peres. He celebrated his 90th birthday last month.

And for fitness and good health, it would be hard to beat Prince Phillip, 92. He recently underwent abdominal surgery, and after 11 days recovered well enough to walk out of the hospital unaided!

Shimon Peres celebrating his 90th birthday with Barbra Streisand, Clinton and Netanyahu

Prince Phillip leaving the hospital 11 days after surgery

And right here in our midst we have our very own Dr S. Subramony, 77. He was featured in the article "Punching Fit" recently. The septuagenarian works out at the gym daily and follows a rigorous exercise regime that would put to shame men half his age.

Iron man: ‘Go on, punch me ... hard!’ Dr S. Subramony, 77, seems to be saying as
he invites trainer Nabil Afiq to punch him in the stomach. – SHAARI CHEMAT/The Star

So the next time someone asks you, "How long would you want to live?", your answer should be "At least 100!" If we take care of our health, who is to say that we can't all live to a ripe old age, still fit and still living life to the fullest.

Banish forever the thought that growing old means growing frail and senile. It doesn't have to be so, as these 'elderly' men and women above have shown.

Related articles:

Age-Defying Role Models

Age is just a Number... 

SEX AND SEXUALITY IN SENIORS

Time changes a lot of things but when it comes to sex and seniors, traditional norms still hold sway. There is still a lot of social stigma attached to sexual activities among seniors. Physical contact and public display of affection between two older persons is frowned upon in many Asian societies. It is still considered shameful for middle-aged couples to hold hands in public. And kissing? Don't even think about it!

Young adults find it embarrassing when their parents act lovey dovey in front of them. They cannot and will not accept that their parents are still "doing it". To them, the mere thought of older people in their 60s or 70s enjoying sexual intimacy is gross and disgusting.

What do seniors themselves think about sex at their age? A comprehensive  sex study carried out among 57-85 year-olds in the United States revealed that a high percentage of seniors remained sexually active, although this tapered off as they entered their 70s and 80s. The results were published in 2007 in the New England Journal of Medicine. (Click here to read more about the study.)

A more recent study done this year in the UK showed similar trends. 50% of the 8000 people aged 50 and above said they had sex at least once a week. More than a quarter of the men and a third of the women enjoy sex more than when they were in their 20s. 71 per cent reported having a healthy sex life,

Hefner, 87, with his new wife Crystal, 26

Men, regardless, of their age, never stop thinking about sex. Thanks to the easy availability of drugs for erectile dysfunction, impotence is no longer a barrier to enjoying sex. Playboy founder, Hugh Hefner, 87, is a walking commercial for Viagra, and a living testimony that age truly doesn't matter when it comes to sex.

For menopausal women, the use of lubricant removes the problem of 'sandpaper-sex' caused by vaginal dryness. Women born after WW2 are sexually more liberated and more adventurous with their partners. That makes for more satisfying sex among older couples.

Sexually-transmitted diseases (STD) is on the rise among older people. Above is a poster ad for a safe sex campaign. Click here to watch the video version. Some might find it a little distasteful. It's not meant to be taken seriously anyway. Enjoy a good laugh at some of the positions.

A word of caution though. Be mindful that age imposes certain limits to what the physical body can perform. You don't want to end up with stiff backs, pulled muscles and God forbid, a heart attack! There are safe positions that still allow for full sexual stimulation and enjoyment.

For an insightful discussion on sex and seniors, do watch this no-holds-barred video below. You have to give it to Australians for being very open and frank about the subject.

DR OZ OF THE PHILIPPINES

A good friend emailed me an article two days ago on "The best ways to protect your kidneys" written by a certain Dr Willie Ong. When it comes to sharing information on health and medical treatment, I always make it a point to do some research to check the reliability of the information and the credibility of the source.

So that's precisely what I did after reading Dr Ong's article. It appears that the good doctor writes a regular column for the Philippine STAR. Not only that, he has a Youtube channel where he has posted several videos covering topics ranging from "How to Lower Your Cholesterol" to "Watermelon's Health Benefits".

I have chosen to reproduce below Dr Ong's article "10 Ways to Protect Your Kidneys".

Note: As with all health information, please do your own research as well to verify any claims, even those that are made by medical professionals. Doctors are known to disagree among themselves when it comes to recommendations and treatments!

10 ways to protect your kidneys

Most people know how to protect their heart (eat less fat, exercise more), but do you know how to care for your kidneys? A diabetic patient of mine thought he was healthy until a kidney function test showed that his kidneys were only functioning at 40-percent capacity.

The kidneys’ job is to help remove various toxins (drugs and food wastes), and expel them through the urine. The kidneys are silent and efficient workers, but if they get sick, the whole body suffers.

As we grow older, our kidneys also start to age, hence the need to protect them. Another problem with kidney disease is that majority of patients have no warning symptoms. Occasionally, some patients may notice leg swelling, which prompts a doctor’s consult.

Some time ago, we interviewed renowned nephrologist Dr. Elizabeth Montemayor in our DZRH radio program Doctors on Call. Dr. Montemayor is head of the Section of Nephrology at UP-Philippine General Hospital, and an associate professor in Physiology at the UP College of Medicine. 

Here, we have summarized the 10 best ways to protect your kidneys:

1. Limit your salt intake. 
Too much salt is not only bad for your blood pressure, it’s also bad for your kidneys. Many Filipinos die of kidney disease, which can be partly attributed to our high salt intake and fondness for fish sauce, soy sauce, bagoong, plain salt, and salted fish. Even our instant noodles, chips, and nuts are teeming with salt. According to Dr. Montemayor, it doesn’t matter if you dilute your soup with lots of water. As long as you drink all the soup, you’ll still get all the salt in it. Hence, if you like eating instant noodles, just use half of the seasoning and add half of the water only. The problem with salt is that it encourages the body to retain water, and can increase your blood pressure (which damages the kidneys). Learn to read nutritional labels and limit eating salty foods.

2. Don’t load up on high-protein foods.
Did you know that eating too much protein, such as pork and beef meat, can overwork your kidneys? It’s true. Being a kidney specialist and physiology professor, Dr. Montemayor explains that too much protein makes the kidneys work twice as hard. Her analogy is: If the kidney’s usual activity level is similar to a person walking, then taking in too much protein can force the kidneys to be “running” on high gear. Pretty soon, your kidneys could get tired and some of the weaker kidney cells can die. A friendly reminder to people on a high-protein Atkin’s Diet or South Beach Diet: Don’t overwork your kidneys. The time-tested doctor’s advice of moderation in everything will serve you well. Eat a balanced diet of rice, vegetables, fish, and fruits and you can’t go wrong.

3. Keep your blood pressure at 130/80 or lower. 
If your blood pressure is above 140 over 90, this can cause kidney damage within five years. The kidneys are said to be “happiest” with a blood pressure of 130/80 or lower. To help control your blood pressure, you should limit your salt intake, reduce weight, and take medicines for high blood pressure, if needed.

4. Keep your blood sugar below 120 mg/dl. 
Diabetes and high blood pressure are the two leading causes of kidney failure. Diabetes affects almost all organs of the body. According to Dr. Montemayor, a person with uncontrolled diabetes for five to 10 years may develop significant kidney damage. Consult your doctor and keep your blood sugar under control with diet, exercise, and maintenance medicines. Our two goals are to have 1) a fasting blood sugar of 120 mg/dl or less, and 2) a hemoglobin A1C test (three-month average blood sugar test) of six percent or less.

5. Drink eight glasses of water a day. 
Doctors usually advise people to take in eight glasses of water a day, but this really depends on your age and condition. If you’re sweating a lot and work outdoors, you may need to drink more than eight glasses a day. However, if you are above 65 years of age, you may do well with just six glasses a day. Drinking enough water also prevents the formation of kidney stones, a painful condition which, if left untreated, can also lead to kidney failure.

6. Watch your intake of pain relievers and other drugs. 
Dr. Montemayor says that taking pain relievers like mefenamic acid, ibuprofen, and the coxibs (like celecoxib) for a prolonged period of time may cause kidney damage. Because of this, we should limit taking these medicines to only a week, or just take them as needed. After taking these pain relievers, we need to let our kidneys rest first (from all its running and puffing) before taking the medicines again. For those with chronic arthritis, try to look for other ways to relieve the pain such as using a hot water bag, pain reliever ointments, or the safer paracetamol tablet. Certain antibiotics can also cause kidney damage. Check with your doctor first.

7. Be careful with tests and procedures using contrast dyes. 
Some tests, like CT acans and MRIs, use a contrast dye which helps doctors delineate the organs better. Many procedures, such as heart angioplasties and some cancer treatments, also use ample amounts of contrast dyes. The problem with such dyes is that they can cause kidney damage, especially in the elderly and those with previous kidney disease. Dr. Montemayor says there are studies, which support the use of fluid loading (200-300 ml orally or through the vein), before such a procedure. Another promising kidney-protecting technique is to take a medicine called Fluimucil (containing N-acetylcysteine) two days before and up to two days after the procedure (as reported in the New England Journal of Medicine, June 29, 2006). To be safe, I would strongly advise you to consult a kidney specialist before undergoing such procedures.

8. Don’t take too much vitamin C. 
Some patients are fond of taking high doses of vitamin C, such as in the 2,000mg range. However, Dr. Montemayor warns patients against using such high doses. Too much vitamin C (ascorbic acid) can lead to the formation of kidney stones in predisposed individuals. If you need to take vitamin C, a dose of 500mg or less is safer.

9. Don’t rely on food supplements to protect your kidneys. 
According to Dr. Montemayor, there is still no food supplement that has been scientifically proven to protect the kidneys. The above tips are so far the best tips to care for the kidneys.


10. Get a kidney check-up. 
Simple tests, such as a complete blood count, BUN, creatinine, and a urinalysis are the first screening tests for the kidneys. Finding a trace of protein in the urine can alert the doctor of possible kidney disease. Patients with diabetes and high blood pressure should also be checked for early kidney disease. Bottomline is: Kidney diseases are expensive and difficult to treat. Let’s take the necessary steps to protect our kidneys today.

You can compare Dr Ong's 10 ways to protect your kidneys with the 10 ways recommended by the National Kidney Foundation, USA.

10 Ways to Keep Kidneys Healthy

1. Exercise regularly
2. Don't overuse over-the-counter painkillers or NSAIDs
3. Control weight
4. Get an annual physical
5. Follow a healthful diet
6. Know your family's medical history
7. Monitor blood pressure & cholesterol
8. Learn about kidney disease
9. Don't smoke or abuse alcohol
10. Talk to your doctor about getting tested if you're at risk for CKD

MEN, IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LONG, ASK THE WOMEN HOW

Women are living longer than men. Period. In Malaysia, women enjoy a life expectancy of 77.2 years, while for men it's 72.3. That's according to the figures released by the Department of Statistics.

In Singapore the numbers are higher. Preliminary data from the Statistics Department showed that a girl born in 2012 could live to an average of 84.5 years old, about four and a half years longer than a boy.

So what are women doing right that men can learn from? Here are 5 likely reasons, according to a Straits Times report yesterday:

• they tend to have better diets,
• they lead healthier, more active lives
• they stay from cigarettes and excessive drinking
• they tend to make better patients when they fall ill, so they recover faster
• they are more willing to share or express their feelings and problems, and so have less heart problems. Men tend to bottle up their feelings

The number of centenarians in Singapore has risen dramatically, from only 71 in 1990 to 900 as of June 2012. Two in three centenarians are women. The oldest supercentenarian was Fadilah Noor Abbe, who died last year at the age of 115. At 100, she was still able to walk up to the 10th floor to her apartment.

Before her, the oldest Singaporean was Teresa Hsu, affectionately known as the Mother Teresa of Singapore because of her charity work distributing food and provisions to unmarried elderly women living on their own. Teresa was a popular motivational speaker till her demise in December 2011 at the age of 113. I knew Teresa personally and have written about her in this blog. (Click here to read and view photos.)

Visitors to a nursing home will find that female residents far outnumber male residents. Attend any activity or event organized by a senior citizens' club, and you will see the overwhelming majority of participants are women. Travel to a country with an ageing population, for example, Japan, and you will notice more elderly women than elderly men almost everywhere you go.

Unfortunately, there is a downside to longer life expectancy for women. There are more widows than widowers, and more single elderly women living alone. Many of them have to rely on social welfare for financial support.

It's time for the government and the private health sector to step up on promoting active lifestyle among older adults. Awareness campaigns should be ongoing throughout the year, and carried out nationwide.

To enjoy longer life expectancy, one must be in good health. No one wants to live long in pain and suffering. Without quality of life, the extra years are meaningless. That's when life is not worth living any longer.

The men should also be more health conscious and take a proactive approach towards learning more about healthy lifestyle practices. This is one way of reducing the gap in life expectancy between men and women.

Ask men why women live longer than men, and you can almost be sure of a tongue-in-cheek answer. Maybe that's why men have a shorter life expectancy than women. They don't take their health seriously.

EAT RIGHT - DIETARY TIPS FOR GOOD HEALTH

We all love to eat, don't we? Malaysians live to eat. We have food stalls that remain open 24 hours a day. We are spoilt for choice when it comes to variety of food - Malay, Chinese, Indian, western, eastern, fusion, fast food, etcetera. It is so easy to succumb to the temptation of eating whatever we like without paying heed to what it will do to our health.

The young go for food that is sweet, salty, deep fried and processed. We were all young once. In our later years, we pay the price when we suffer a host of health problems like diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.

Source: Straits Times

It is never too late to lay the foundation of good health. Start with eating the right foods, and doing simple exercises to keep fit. Hope the tips below and the food charts provide a useful guide to get you started on eating well and eating right for good health.

And for those with school-going grandchildren, it's always good to teach them what to eat at the school canteen. Better still, prepare healthy snacks or lunch boxes for them to bring to school.

A good website to check out is the Singapore Health Promotion Board's Dietary Guide for Older Adults. Click here to access.