WHY DO OLD PEOPLE LOVE TO COMPLAIN?

Old people love to complain. They are never satisfied with anything. True or false?

The answer is probably True. But they do have valid reasons for their grouses.
Let's put ourselves in the shoes of an 80-year old man. He has limited funds so he complains about soaring prices. He recalls the old days when a cup of kopitiam coffee cost only 40 cents. Now it's RM1.60 at the mamak stall.

There was a time when he could travel and enjoy an active social life. These days he is mostly at home, unable to venture out alone because he no longer drives and there's no one free to take him out. His perennially-busy adult children have little time for him.

Once upon a time he lived to eat. Now he eats to live. His diet is restricted to low-fat, reduced-sugar and cholesterol-free foods. No more favorite hawker food for him, no more culinary indulgences, all because he has a host of health problems.

His old hobbies no longer interest him. He can't read because of poor vision. He has little interest in watching tv as the programs don't appeal to him. He can't enter the exciting world of the internet as he is computer-illiterate, and refuses to learn.

As a young man, he was blessed with good health and vitality. Now the passage of time has reduced him to a frail shadow of his former self, with all the accompanying aches and pain of old age.

Few friends drop by to see him, as they are in the same boat as he is. So he sits in his arm-chair or lies in bed the whole day long with only his memories to keep him company.

It is no wonder old people are bitter and grouchy. They have all the time in the world to gripe about everything under the sun, from high prices to corrupt politicians.

What a horrible way to grow old! We can't stop growing old, but we can certainly choose how we want to grow old. It's all about attitude.

We can choose to grow old complaining about things from A to Z. Or we can choose to focus our attention on the things that make us happy, like our grandchildren, like being able to look back at happy times with fondness, and not compare them with the present.

There is little point in harping on things that can't be changed. We should learn to accept whatever unfortunate circumstances we are dealt with and make the best of the situation. Let's make our lives worth living.

BE PROUD OF YOUR AGE

Anyone can have fun, no matter how old

(This article was written in 2009. The message it carries still holds true. Let's be proud of our age, whether we are 50 or 80. Never mind if society thinks we are over the hill. It's more important what we think of ourselves. If we think we are 'useless', 'unproductive' and a 'burden' to the family and society, then we are. Time for a mindset change. Live life!)

My daughter, who will be celebrating her 40th birthday this May, passed me a magazine article a few days ago. It touched on the stigma of ageing. Why are women in particular so defensive about disclosing their age? Why do they pour so much money into futile attempts to stay forever young? Judging by the advertisements in men’s magazines, our male counterparts are feeling the same way too about turning back the clock.

Barbie turns 50 this year. If she were mortal like us....

Growing old is natural and inevitable. So why fight it or try to reverse it? That would be like trying to stem the tide. Age is just a number, and we should be proud to reveal our age. We should look at our wrinkles as life-lines of experience, and our greying hair as threads of wisdom.

Spend some time in the company of those 50 and above. Sooner or later, you will hear the all-too-familiar refrains of “Old already. Cannot study anymore. Cannot travel anymore. Cannot dance anymore. Cannot chew anymore. Cannot wear bright colours anymore....” No wonder young people see us as decrepit old fogies ready to crumble into dust or ashes any minute. That’s how many of us see ourselves too.

And it’s not just our age that we need to come to terms with. It’s also our status, or the lack of it. In social networking circles, why do we feel embarrassed, even ashamed to say we are retired? Since when has ‘retiree’ become a dirty word?

We can't stop growing old, but we don't have to BE old. We need to think outside THAT wooden box or we'll be six feet under sooner than we want to.

Add fun, friends, and fantasy to our lives. Spice it up with a dash of colour and romance. Dance in the rain, sing in the sunshine, enjoy the outdoors, see the world through the eyes of a child eager to discover and learn once more.

No need for expensive botox, hair treatment or facelifts. Throw away those anti-ageing, anti-wrinkles cream. Invest in joy, love, forgiveness, gratitude. Eat sensibly. Exercise regularly. Nourish your skin with moisturizers. Smile often. Have a hearty laugh every now and then. Make positive words a part of your daily vocabulary. Think good thoughts.

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others;

For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness;

And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

~ Audrey Hepburn ~

CAN WE SAY 'NO' TO OUR HAWKER FOOD?

Malaysians and Singaporeans love to eat. No matter what time of day, we can always find a makan (food) place that stays open to feed us. The problem is our favourite food and drinks happen to be bad for our health. They are either too oily (mee goreng), too salty (bak kut teh) or too sweet (teh tarik). We don't care about calories because we have no clue how to figure that out.

But take heed, piling on those extra kilos of fat can lead to obesity. Obesity puts us at high risk of health-related complications, and top of the list is diabetes. In Malaysia. one in five adults has diabetes with 2.6 million cases recorded last year, according to figures from the Health Ministry.

Screen-shots from The Star (top) and Straits Times.

Older adults should take note. At our age we are physically less active. Once we have gained weight, it is a challenge to shed those extra kilos. The recommended daily intake for a sedentary person is between 2000 to 2500 calories. If we are eating way too much, it's time to seriously consider adopting healthy eating habits and a sensible diet that is right for our age.

Instead of issuing health warnings only to the general public, perhaps the Health Ministry should also consider educating our hawkers on healthy food preparation in addition to hygienic food handling. Mamak stall operators, for example, should be told to cut down on the oil for mee goreng and reduce the sugar and condensed milk for teh tarik. Not only will they be saving on costs, they will be saving lives too in the long run - our lives.

Here are some photos taken at the Healthy Cooking classes I have been attending for the past two months under the University of Third Age (U3A) programme for Malaysians aged 50 and above.

Healthy cooking involves using less oil, salt and sugar, substituting milk with yoghurt, white rice with brown rice and opting for healthy methods of cooking where possible like steaming or grilling instead of deep frying. Give it a try if you value your health, and your family's health too.

SUSTAINABLE RETIREMENT - A CHALLENGE FOR MANY

From today's papers. Can't read the small print? Read at Star Online.

If you are a retiree from the lower or middle income group, the biggest fear you probably have is not having enough funds to see you through your retirement. What compounds the fear is the knowledge that your retirement can last as long as 20 years! Throw in healthcare expenses and you feel like throwing in the towel on life itself.

For retirees who are single or without children, old age is viewed with more than just dread. When they can no longer fend for themselves financially and physically, who is there to offer support? Who can they depend on?

Boredom may be at the bottom of the list, but it can lead to depression and that can lead to health complications and higher healthcare costs. A vicious cycle that is difficult to get out of.

For those with children, don't be so sure your adult children will care for you. They may not have the financial means to do so, or they may not even be around, having migrated to greener pastures overseas. With filial piety on the wane, cases of adult children abandoning their elderly parents in hospitals and old folks home are on the rise.

To calculate how much you need for your retirement, click here.

Longevity is a bonus only when retirees have saved enough and prepared adequately for their sunset years.

Despite all these concerns, there is hope, and there are solutions. To quote the last paragraph of the letter above:

"The magic formula is to stay healthy, maintaining social support, keeping spiritual life and finances in order, and developing a daily routine that can help prevent stress after retirement." 

TIME FOR A FEW LAUGHS

If you haven't seen these videos yet, I am re-posting them here. Hilarious. Enjoy!

HOME ALONE - A NO-NO FOR THE ELDERLY

One of the biggest sources of anxiety for the sandwich generation is their elderly parents. If you are in your 60s, your parents would probably be in their 80s. If they are still active, independent and in good health, you can count yourself blessed. As long as your parents are together, they can look after each other. But what happens when one parent passes on? Is the surviving parent able to cope on her/his own?

If your elderly father is staying with you, who keeps an eye on him when both you and your husband are at work? What about career women who are single? Your mother is alone at home all day. Do you worry about leaving her by herself for so many hours every day?

This is a situation that many of us now face. What can we do about it? Let's look at some of the options out there, and why for many, there is no choice at all.

Option 1: Have your parent move in with you and your family.
Why not?

• "Our house is too small, and there's no spare room for her."
• "My dad refuses to move from his hometown. He wants to die there in his own house."
• "My mother says she prefers to be where she is - in familiar surroundings and with her own friends."

Option 2: Get your single parent a live-in maid.

Why not?

• "We can't afford it."
• "My mother doesn't trust an outsider."
• "What if the maid ill-treats my mother?"

Option 2: Put your parent in a decent home.

Why not?

• "We can't afford it."
• "People would say we are not filial."
• "My father refuses to live in a nursing home."

For many adult children, there seems to be no easy solution. So the elderly parent continues to live alone, and the family members are stressed out worrying about whether mom is ok when they call and no one picks up the phone. 

There are so many things to worry about when mom lives alone. Did she remember to take her medication? What if she fell and lost consciousness, or had a heart attack? What if she forgot to turn off the gas stove, or lock the front door?

Or worse, what if there is a break-in, and mom is hurt? These are very real concerns.

It is heartening to know that NGOs are coming up with workable solutions. The Befrienders of Singapore, for example, conduct regular house calls to make sure that elderly residents are fine. There are also community groups comprising neighbours and fellow residents in government housing areas who drop by to see if the elderly need anything. 

Not everyone can afford these services.

You can check out Love-On-Wheels, a mobile healthcare service provider at http://www.loveonwheelshealthcare.com/

In Singapore and Malaysia there are mobile or home-care services that offer nursing care for a fee depending on the level of care rendered.

Ultimately, it is an individual decision. Each family has to decide what to do with mom or dad. But just remember the price to pay should anything disastrous happen to your parent who lives alone.

One day it will be our turn to make our adult children worry about us. What will our decision be then? Will we have control over where we want to spend the rest of our lives?

My 86-year old mother is in a special home for dementia care. She is very happy there, and never fails to invite her visitors to 'stay there'. It's a long story how she ended up at the home. I shall write more about this in another blog post.

AGE IS REALLY JUST A NUMBER FOR THE WORLD'S OLDEST FEMALE BODY BUILDER

Amazing woman, this Ernestine Sheperd. Last year at 74, she made it to the Guinness Book of Records by winning the title of the world's oldest woman body builder.

She started exercising in her mid-50s and participated in her first body-building contest at the age of 71! She wakes up every day at 02:30 to fit in a 10 mile (16km) run before hitting the gym.

Still strikingly beautiful at 75.

Her 1,700-calorie daily diet consists of egg whites in the morning, vegetables, chicken and brown rice. She claims that this regime has helped her with depression, high blood pressure, panic attacks, and acid reflux -- all of which she suffered from in her mid 50s.

"I plan to keep doing bodybuilding shows," she says. "There's no reason you can't be 80, and strutting your stuff." She is a huge fan of Michelle Obama, and not surprisingly, of Sylvester Stallone and the Rocky movies.

"I really want to meet Sylvester Stallone," Shepherd says. "Those training sequences in those Rocky films you can't help but think about when you're working out."

In addition to working as a personal trainer, Shepherd leads exercise classes for seniors at the Union Memorial United Methodist Church in Baltimore.

Read more about Ernestine at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/11/ernestine-shepherd-oldest_n_1587021.html