TAINTING EVERYONE WITH THE SAME BRUSH

The Star 25 August 2010

Every action has a reaction. How we react often depends on our ability to control our emotions and think through the situation to the likely consequences.

Some recent examples:

• The sacking of Filipino maids by some families in Hongkong in retaliation for the deaths of eight HK tourists in Manila. Why should these maids be held responsible? What have they got to do with the incident?
• Protests against the building of the Cordoba Centre near Ground Zero in Lower Manhattan because it was deemed 'insensitive' to the families of those who died in the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Centre, NY. What has the Muslim group behind the Cordoba mosque project got to do with the Al-Qaeda terrorists responsible for the 9/11 attack?
• Indonesia's nationalist group Bendara's threat to throw out all Malaysians from Indonesia in response to the detention of three Indonesian maritime officers by Malaysian authorities. What have Malaysian expats in Jakarta, for example, got to do with the incident? 

The answer is NOTHING in all these cases.

It is dangerous to blame isolated incidents on a whole race of people. When we taint everyone with the same brush, we are holding them guilty by virtue of a common denominator, which is often race, nationality or religion. This is much worse than cultural stereotyping and can easily ignite deadly conflagrations.

Read Andrew Sia's column in today's Sunday Star.

So far, we have been fortunate that the majority of Malaysians do not allow negative emotions to rule their heads. Let's pray that our good sense will continue even as some of our leaders continue to stoke communal tension with their outrageous accusations and racial slurs.

SHOULD ADULT CHILDREN REPAY A LOAN FROM THEIR PARENTS?

It is our parental duty to provide a good education for our children. That can mean right up to post-graduate studies. Scholarships offered by the public and corporate sectors are very competitive, especially in Singapore. Not all parents can afford to support their children through university. To meet this need, both the CPF (Singapore) and the EPF (Malaysia) allow parents to withdraw funds for educational purposes.

Unlike the EPF education scheme which is a withdrawal scheme, the CPF education scheme is a loan scheme. CPF members are allowed to use up to 40 per cent of their accumulated Ordinary Account savings for their own or their children's full-time local diploma and first-degree courses. The total amount withdrawn for tuition fees plus accrued interest has to be repaid IN FULL WITH CASH. Repayment starts one year after date of graduation or date of leaving the institution, whichever is earlier.

According to a news report in the Straits Times today, about 5% or 7500 of borrowers have defaulted on the repayment of their educational loans and have failed to return money to CPF accounts for at least four consecutive months.

Even when the children have graduated and found a job, repaying their parents seems to be at the bottom of their list of priorities. Taking precedence are buying an apartment, paying for a car, starting a business, going for an overseas vacation, preparing for a wedding, ... the list goes on. And when their credit card debts start to snowball, their banker of last resort are...their parents, of course!

The end result? Their parents are left with depleted savings in their retirement funds.

Call it parental love or a reluctance to lose face, most parents are unwilling to take action against their children, or seek help from the Tribunal. They would rather work longer years or cut down on their living expenses to compensate for the shortfall in their retirement savings.

If parents are committed to shouldering their parental responsibilities, shouldn't adult children be just as committed to their filial duties? Or is filial piety on the wane?

It comes as no surprise that many middle-aged wage earners with limited retirement savings are facing this predicament. What would you do if your adult children did not repay a loan from you? Would you pursue it? Or let it go and consider it an early gift already allocated for in your will? Or silently hold it as a grudge against them and cut them out from your will?

OF SUGAR DADDIES AND COUGAR WOMEN

I must admit I have never heard of 'cougar women' till yesterday while reading the Sunday Times. The fact that the paper carried the article with pictures of local women surprised me. For those as clueless as me, the term 'cougar women' refers to older women who are attracted to much younger men. Think Madonna, 51 and her latest toy-boy, Jesus Luz, 23, or Demi Moore, 47, and her much younger husband, Ashton Kutcher, 32.

I can understand why older men go for younger women. It's the Law of Physical Attraction, of course. For the younger women, it's likely the Law of Financial Attraction. 'No money, No honey. So bye-bye, if you're a sugarless daddy!

But what do older women see in younger men, and vice versa? Methinks the same Laws apply too! In most cases anyway.

Women marrying a partner seven to nine years younger increase their relative mortality risk by 20% compared with couples where both are the same age. But the relative mortality risk of a husband who is seven to nine years older is reduced by 11%. (Source: Sven Drefahl)

Older women, take heed.  A study by Sven Drefahl at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rosktock, Germany, shows that the greater the age gap between a woman and her husband, the shorter her life expectancy, regardless of whether he is older or younger. That should be enough to scare off any cougar on the prowl!

But the problem with research studies is that you can always find another one that says exactly the opposite. And there are also studies that claim cougars do not exist.

Personally, a 5-7 years' difference is fine, but a 70-year gap? I can't imagine any virile young man would want to marry a great great grandmother 70 years older than him, unless she is Mek Wook Kondor!

Mek Wook Kondor, 108, and her husband, Mohd Nor Musa, 39. Source: NST 

Click here to view some celebrity cougars.

THE CASE FOR PROMOTING ENGLISH

Something is not right in our English language classrooms. Despite studying the language for nine years in the public school system, the majority of our high school students leave school unable to write or speak basic English. The situation gets worse when these students move on to local public universities. By then they are so uncomfortable using English they completely give up on it altogether.

The allowance and programme fees are fully funded by the government. Unemployed graduates get paid to learn new skills.

Is it any wonder that annual surveys carried out since 2005 have consistently listed poor English as one of the top five reasons why 40,000 to 60,000 graduates from our public universities fail to get jobs?

• 
  
  In 2004, there were 4,594 unemployed graduates of whom 163 were Chinese, 207 were Indians and 4,060 were Malays.
• 
  
  In 2005, there were 2,413 unemployed graduates of whom 31 were Chinese, 70 were Indians and 2,186 were Malays.
• 
  
  In 2006, there were 56,750 unemployed graduates of whom 1,110 were Chinese, 1,346 were Indians and 50,594 were Malays.
• 
  
  In 2007, there were 56,322 unemployed graduates of whom 1,348 were Chinese, 1,401 were Indians and 49,075 were Malays.
• 
  
  In 2008 (as of June) there were 47,910 unemployed graduates of whom 1,403 Chinese, 4,694 Indians and 41,813 were Malays.
• 
  
  By March 2009, Najib was talking about 60,000 unemployed graduates. This was more or less in line with the 57,701 graduate registrants on the Exchange in March 2009.
• 
  
  By October 2009, we were looking at 81,046 active graduate registrants on the Labour Exchange – and another 70,747 active registrants who are diploma holders.

The government keeps flip-flopping on measures to raise English proficiency in the country. They bow to pressure from anti-English groups. These groups have so little confidence in the strength and power of their own language that they consider any move to promote English as a threat to the national language. They regard English as the language of our former colonial masters. They label Malay Malaysians in particular who want their children to learn English well as traitors to their mother tongue. Such parochial thinking shows they are the ones still clinging on to colonial times while the rest of us have long moved on to 21st century forward thinking.

This video shows why the rest of the world wants to learn English. It's about time Malaysians do the same. There's a lot of catching up to do.

A shorter version of the video appears on the TED TALKS channel on YouTube.

Related Article:

TIME OUR LANGUAGE POLICY MAKERS REMOVE THEIR BLINKERS 

BABY BLOOD ON OUR CONSCIENCE

Source: Bernama

My stomach churned when I saw the front page of the Star today. Another two more cases of baby-dumping to add to the 65 cases since January this year, and 472 since 2005. If we don't find a workable solution soon, there will be hundreds more before year-end. That is the estimated number of unwed pregnant teenagers yet to deliver their babies. These are the ones we can still save if we can reach out to these young mothers-to-be and their partners.

Yesterday the papers published my views on the issue. One paper published 90% of my original letter, whilst the other only 50%. In the latter case, I'm not sure if it's because of space constraint or sensitive content. For me it was interesting to note what was edited out.

As parents and grandparents, we can do our part to ensure we instill the right values in our young. And if the worse should happen despite all the advice and teaching, let them know that we will be there for them. Love comes first. Wrath and punishment comes last if at all. Our children need to know that we are their first and last refuge.

We don't want to have any more baby blood on our hands or on our conscience.

WHAT MAKES A STRONG GOVERNMENT

A lot of buzz has been generated about the next elections coming up sooner than expected. If you want change, this is the opportunity you have been waiting for. Your vote is your voice. A silent majority is powerless. But when that silent majority use their votes to speak out, their combined voices can be deafening. It can move mountains and remove governments.

If you haven't registered as a voter, find out where you can do so here. If you want to volunteer to help register new voters, or start your own registration booth, find out how here.

What sort of government do we want in Malaysia? Where can we find the right people to head the various ministries? We don't have to look far for some ideas. Singapore celebrated its 45th National Day on 9 August. For the record, Singapore opted out of Malaysia in 1965.  Since then, the island nation has been registering phenomenal growth, achieving 17.9% GDP growth in the first half of this year. Unemployment is low.

Says former Singapore PM Lee Kuan Yew at a recent National Day dinner:

'To build such a Singapore, we need an exceptionally strong Government, with the ablest, the toughest and most dedicated of leaders. We head-hunt for them, test them out in heavy responsibilities.'

Admire him or detest him, it's the results that count. Today 45 years after separation from Malaysia, Singapore boasts a vibrant economy while the Malaysian rakyat is still smarting over the hundreds of billions of  ringgit gone missing and unaccounted for from the public coffers. (Image from ChannelNewsAsia)

And what contributes to a vibrant economy? His response:

• First, leaders of high integrity who have the people's trust and confidence.
• Second, meritocracy, where everyone can get to the top as political leaders, MPs, (in) the civil service and statutory boards. People get to where they are on merit: not guanxi (connections), not nepotism, not corruption. Hence, all are capable and competent.
• Third, there is a level playing field for all, where 'no one is disadvantaged by our national policies whatever their race, language or religion.
• Fourth, the use of English as the working language has made Singapore the business and banking hub it is today. 

Singapore pays top dollar to get the best people for the government. If we pay peanuts, we will only get monkeys who are always up to mischief and hanky-panky, who have little clue how to lead, and who have no vision at all beyond the dollar signs in their eyes.

UNITY IN RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY - A MYTH?

Unity in diversity. It's not easy to apply this slogan when it comes to religion in Malaysia. For non-Muslims here there are simply too many restrictions placed on them even when they truly want to understand the religious practices of their Muslim fellow citizens.

For example, in some states, non-Muslims are not welcomed in mosques. They can't use "Allah" to refer to God because it will confuse the Muslims here. There are 35 words that non-Muslims can't use. Schools have to get approval before they can set up a Christian or Buddhist society.

It's difficult to get land or funds from the government to build a church or temple. Even when the funds have been raised through community efforts, and the land purchased, it is a long long bureaucratic wait to get a permit to build a church or temple. Non-Muslims can't marry a Muslim unless they convert to Islam. They also can't inherit from a Muslim. The list goes on.

Restrictions like these drive a wedge between Muslims and non-Muslims in the country. It stifles bonding and understanding. It leads to suspicion and fear. The end result is forced religious tolerance rather than voluntary religious acceptance.

But then, Malaysian Muslims themselves are subjected to 1001 restrictions. There's a whole lot they are not alowed to do according to their religious leaders. Or else they will have to answer for it in the Syariah court.

Perhaps our Muslim leaders can learn a thing or two from Obama's speech to mark the beginning of Ramadan.